


Hymns and Memories

by retiredseraph



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Author is projecting a bit, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a xtian cult survivor and this is about a bit of the aftermath, Could be read as slash or platonic or QPR, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Sex, No Smut, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, descriptions of flashbacks, just a little, religious trauma, the point is that they love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27139037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retiredseraph/pseuds/retiredseraph
Summary: Sometimes the most small, unambiguous things can bring back memories from unpleasant places and times. It’s a good thing Crowley knows how to helpTW for a lyric from a well-known xtian hymn
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Hymns and Memories

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off my own experience of smaller, unexpected triggers, even after doing a lot of healing and processing, and how I think Aziraphale and Crowley might deal with those if Aziraphale had similar experiences.
> 
> Seriously though, if you have religious trauma or anything similar, just take care reading this because it might be triggering. Your mental health is more important, and I don’t want anyone sacrificing their mental health to read this :)

“You lift me up,” Aziraphale read out loud. Crowley was tucked into his side, and they had been enjoying a relaxing evening at home while Aziraphale read to him. His voice trailed off, not finishing the rest of the sentence.

Instead, the memory of standing in chapel, singing hymns, was brought to mind. He could remember the scratchy fabric pew seats, the sound of both children and adults singing. He also remembered the odd numbness that seemed to always follow him back then, especially after singing a chorus over and over, his mouth seeming to almost move on its own the more he sang.

Crowley opened his eyes after a second of silence, before sitting up halfway. 

Aziraphale’s face was no longer relaxed, but tensed with a worrisome expression as he stared at the pages.

“Angel?” Crowley asked, thankful when Aziraphale met his eyes almost immediately. “You’re not back there, you’re here with me. Take a deep breath, yeah?”

Aziraphale did so, blinking in rapid succession to drive away the thought of trying to stand too-loud singing, and to ground himself in reality. He was in his bookshop in the back room, sitting on the couch with his closest companion right beside him. He could feel the book in his hands and Crowley’s hand on his knee, and the room around him, with its dim lighting and worn-soft furniture, and the soft sound of a ticking clock and light rain outside.

“Thank you Crowley.” He cleared his throat. “The line just reminded me of a hymn is all,” he said, explaining.

“No I get it, I know the one” Crowley replied. Aziraphale was glad his companion never minimized his mind’s reactions to things, yet tried to treat every instance in proportion to the seriousness. “Wanna continue reading, or do something else?”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’d quite like to continue reading. And,” Aziraphale said with a smile, “I’m sure you’ve noticed that the spot by my side has become rather empty as of late.”

Giving a short laugh, Crowley re-situated himself by Aziraphale’s warm, soft side, but this time looping an arm around his chest to rest hand on his shoulder, softly stroking to a soothing rhythm.

Aziraphale hummed contentedly, before continuing reading aloud. “You lift me up beyond the stars, my darling...”

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to eventually make a larger series that dives into the AU I thought up of Aziraphale being a religious cult survivor and Crowley having left religion when he was a lot younger, both because it’s an interesting idea imo, and it might be cathartic to write as someone who grew up in a similar dynamic as the Heaven in Good Omens
> 
> Comments fuel my soul, but it’s totally alright if you don’t have the spoons/time to comment or anything :)


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